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White Anglo-Saxon Protestants



 
 
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  #1  
Old July 24th 03, 02:02 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Wrightsaerials
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Posts: 93
Default White Anglo-Saxon Protestants

Yesterday Albert said, "I know you keep hitting the loganberrys when you think
no-one's watching. Well, just look out for the wasps."
Today I came home, climbed wearly out of the van and drifted across to the
seductive loganberry area. Without looking I popped the first firm luscious
fruit into my quivering receptive mouth. I was immediately aware that the
loganberry was furry and was wriggling. This disconcerted me so I quickly spat
it out. When it hit the ground I saw that a wasp was riding it. A the same
moment I became aware of a stinging sensation on my lower lip. The wasp crawled
away from its vehicle stunned, and I ran into the house shouting "I've been
stung by a huge herd of wasps!" in the manner of a big girl's blouse. After
I'd been for stress counselling and trauma therapy and a bit of Germoline on my
lip I assessed the damage. Two little red bumps on my lower lip. In future I
will listen to the warnings from my wise father, and I would advise you all top
do the same. This isn't off-topic because the loganberrys are growing all over
the 1.8m steerable dish, and threaten to prevent its proper operation.

Bill

This isn't an automatic signature
I actually typed this myself
Just to see if I could
Simulate boring
Japanese
Poetry

Err, the trees waft about
Quite a lot
When it's windy
Or when a JCB
Knocks then down
Because they're in the way



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  #2  
Old July 24th 03, 08:44 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Ian Clark
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Posts: 24
Default White Anglo-Saxon Protestants

Wrightsaerials wrote:
Yesterday Albert said, "I know you keep hitting the loganberrys when you think
no-one's watching. Well, just look out for the wasps."
Today I came home, climbed wearly out of the van and drifted across to the
seductive loganberry area. Without looking I popped the first firm luscious
fruit into my quivering receptive mouth. I was immediately aware that the
loganberry was furry and was wriggling. This disconcerted me so I quickly spat
it out. When it hit the ground I saw that a wasp was riding it. A the same
moment I became aware of a stinging sensation on my lower lip. The wasp crawled
away from its vehicle stunned, and I ran into the house shouting "I've been
stung by a huge herd of wasps!" in the manner of a big girl's blouse. After
I'd been for stress counselling and trauma therapy and a bit of Germoline on my
lip I assessed the damage. Two little red bumps on my lower lip. In future I
will listen to the warnings from my wise father, and I would advise you all top
do the same. This isn't off-topic because the loganberrys are growing all over
the 1.8m steerable dish, and threaten to prevent its proper operation.

Bill


The same thing nearly happened to me, only with a blackbird.

  #3  
Old July 24th 03, 01:35 PM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Wrightsaerials
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Posts: 93
Default White Anglo-Saxon Protestants

The same thing nearly happened to me, only with a blackbird.

What, in your mouth?
Or do you mean you were in a black bird's mouth?
Bill
  #4  
Old July 24th 03, 01:54 PM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Les Hellawell
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Posts: 20
Default White Anglo-Saxon Protestants

Anglo-Saxon is it?

Remember the Vikings did a lot of rape and pillage round
these ere parts not to mention settling and rule. A lot of
great-great... great grandmothers were victims you know!
Think about it :-)

Reminds me of the story of three Vikings ships approaching
shore preparing to do the proverbial (why do these kinds
of jokes always run in threes?)

The first boat, neat and tidy with sails pure white and
full with the wind, grounds on the shingle. The crew, smart
and clean shaved, leap out, pull the boat up out of the
water and spring to attention in front awaiting order.

The second ship - above repeated to reinforce how
tough and keen the Vikings are to conquer - eventually
leap to attention awaiting orders.

The third ship drifts into shore, filthy, sails dirty and
drooping. The crew, dishelved and tired crawl out of
the ship and eventually form a ragged line awaiting
orders. One turns to the other and whispers to his
comrade "Oh good Wodin, I hope it isn't rape again."

--
Les Hellawell

Greetings from :
YORKSHIRE - The White Rose County









  #5  
Old July 24th 03, 02:47 PM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Java Jive
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Posts: 1,294
Default White Anglo-Saxon Protestants

"Les Hellawell" wrote in message
...

clean shaved


Vikings? I suspect not ...

Let's have a big hand to welcome an old joke back ...


 




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